Leaders, Taking Care of Yourself IS Your Job

A while back, a manager on my team confided something in me: “The stress of management is getting to me, and my team just called me out on it.”

Their initial thoughts went to how they could have prevented letting that stress show through to their team, and what they could have done better to shield their team from that. And I understand where that instinct comes from: managers spend the majority of their time putting their team first. However, I had to quickly get this manager past that and to the real question of: so IS the stress getting to you? And what are you doing to take care of yourself?

Needless to say, they hadn’t spent much time contemplating this.

As leaders, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that we must always be “on” — constantly driving forward, putting out fires, and supporting our teams. But one of the most important skills for any manager or leader is knowing when it’s time to step back and prioritize our own well-being.

The Leadership Pressure Cooker

Leadership can be a pressure cooker. We’re juggling multiple responsibilities, managing diverse personalities, trying to constantly understand and align what is motivating so many different people, making tough decisions that are rarely going to make everyone happy, and often carrying the weight of our team’s success (or failure) on our shoulders. It’s no wonder that stress and burnout are so common for leaders.

But when we push ourselves past our limits, not only are we doing ourselves a disservice, but our ability to effectively lead, make sound decisions, and show up how we want for our teams is severely compromised. We are also missing out on prime opportunities to allow others to step up and not only lead, but help us in the process.

Think about it. Have you ever had a boss who was clearly stressed out? How did it affect you and your team? Likely, it didn’t create a great work environment. Even more likely, there were others on the team who could easily have stepped in to help.

Leader stress has a ripple effect.

• Decision Making: Stress clouds judgment, leading to poor or hasty decisions. Under pressure, we tend to focus on immediate fixes rather than long-term solutions, and we're more likely to miss important details or overlook potential consequences. Our brain's stress response actually reduces our ability to process complex information and think strategically.
• Team Morale: A stressed leader can unintentionally create a tense atmosphere, affecting team morale and productivity. Team members often mirror their leader's emotional state, and when the leader is visibly stressed, it creates a ripple effect of anxiety throughout the team. People become hesitant to bring up problems or share ideas, fearing they'll add to the leader's stress.
• Communication: Stress can make us short-tempered or withdrawn, hindering effective communication. When stressed, we tend to communicate in shorter, more directive ways, missing opportunities for meaningful dialogue. We might also become less patient with questions or clarifications, leading team members to feel less heard and understood.
• Innovation: When we're stressed, we tend to fall back on what's familiar, stifling creativity and innovation. Our brain's natural response to stress is to seek safety in the known and proven, making us less likely to embrace new ideas or approaches. This can lead to missed opportunities and stagnation in team growth and development.
• Work-Life Balance: If you're always "on," you're modeling poor work-life balance for your team. Teams take their cues from their leaders — if you're sending emails at midnight or working through weekends, you're implicitly setting the expectation that this is normal and acceptable behavior. This creates a culture where burnout becomes normalized and personal boundaries are not respected.

Self-Care is Leadership

Yet still, many leaders feel guilty about taking time for self-care. They see it as selfish or as neglecting their duties.

But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s one of the most selfless things you can do as a leader.

Why? Because when you take care of yourself, you’re ensuring that you can show up as your best self for your team. You’re modeling healthy behaviors. You’re demonstrating that it’s okay — nay, essential — to prioritize well-being.

As a coach of mine once said, it becomes a lot easier to prioritize your well-being when you realize that taking care of yourself actually IS your job, not something in addition to it.

However, on top of all of that, prioritizing time for self-care creates space for others on the team to step up and help. In your temporary absence, you may already know who you’re going to ask to help guide the team and give them direction. Or, you’ll discover the people on the team who will naturally step up to make decisions or who the team will begin to look to for guidance. Create space, and these natural leaders will have room to step up.

Setting the Example

When it comes to prioritizing our well-being as leaders, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution — but whatever it is, it should be visible. It all starts with setting clear boundaries around our time and energy. This might mean establishing work hours that end at a reasonable time, or being brave enough to say “I’m not available right now” — even when everything feels urgent.

Taking real breaks throughout the day is critical, and it is something easy to model with your team. Not the kind where you’re still checking Slack on your phone, but the kind where you take a quick walk around the block, have a meal without multitasking, or simply take a few intentional, mindful minutes.

Physical and mental health go hand in hand here. I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that skipping workouts or surviving on coffee isn’t sustainable. Getting enough sleep, moving your body, and eating well aren’t luxuries; they’re necessities for showing up for your team. Don’t underestimate the power of having support systems in place, either. Whether it’s a mentor who’s been there before, a coach who can offer fresh perspectives, a supportive partner who has your best interests at heart, or a therapist who can help you process the emotional weight of leadership — having someone to talk to can make a world of difference.

And, of course, this is where delegation comes into play. As leaders, we cannot — and should not — be expected to do everything ourselves, and we should lean on our teams. It’s our responsibility to grow the next generation of leaders, and the time we take for renewal and rest can be their opportunity to stretch and grow.

One of the most powerful things you can do as a leader is to be open and transparent about the way you prioritize your well-being, giving your team permission to do the same. Obviously this doesn’t mean oversharing or burdening your team with personal issues, but it could mean saying things like:

• “I’m taking a mental health day tomorrow to recharge.”
• “I’ve started a new exercise routine to help manage stress”
• “I’m working with a coach to help improve my work-live balance”

By normalizing these conversations, you create a culture where well-being is valued and prioritized.

Reframing Leadership Wellness

It’s time we reframe how we think about leadership wellness. Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury or selfish act. It’s a crucial part of effective leadership.

Our teams rely on us to bring our whole selves to our roles as leaders. And sometimes the best way to show up for them is to know when not to show up: when to hit pause, prioritize our own well-being, and trust that everything will be okay in our brief absence because we’ve built a team that can handle it.

Stepping away when we’re not at our best is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and emotional intelligence. It allows us to recharge, gain perspective, create space for others, and return to work with renewed energy, creativity, and resilience. You’re not just taking care of yourself — you’re taking care of your team, your organizing, and ultimately your ability to achieve your collective goals.

So, the next time you feel guilty about taking time for self-care, remember: this isn’t extra. This isn’t selfish. This is your job.

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